The boy bit into his grandmother’s finger. Her fingers were the best! After this one there would only be three left. He loved sprinkling powdered sugar on her fingers. Grandma didn’t like it, she thought it ruined their taste— “Too damn sweet,” she’d say.  After grandma died, there were no more fingers. As the boy…

Who doesn’t want food? Anybody out there want to starve? No, I didn’t think so. But who wants to be fat? Only people with mental problems want to be fat—big blubber balls rolling down the avenue, risking death with every step. Given their burden on the health care system, I am proposing a bill making it illegal…

He thought he drove around her. She thought he tried to kill her. He had jumped the curb. She had jumped on the hood of the car. She rode on it. It hit a wall. She flew, but was not injured. She could not figure out what was going on. Should she report him to…

I was trying to—sand dollars! They were worthless. Could I develop a sandbox corps? Seashells everywhere. Flotsam too. A barnacle encrusted piano. A rusted wheelbarrow missing it’s wheel. A plastic bust of Abraham Lincoln. A deflated Happy Birthday balloon. A tennis net. A tennis ball that I did not want to name or develop a…

There was a special T-shirt I wanted to wear. I wanted to wear it everywhere. I had made it on the internet. It cost $18.00. It had a picture of my cat Furballerina (“Furball” for short) on it. She was a cross between a Persian cat, and possibly, a toy cougar.  There was a contest…

I had no bootstraps. No ace in the hole. No pease porridge hot. No tale to be told. The ice of old age had settled on my heart. I was cold and lonely and losing heart. My eyes reflected the beautiful lazuli sky, blurred by time, I thought I would die—die on the sidewalk, die…

Things were bad enough. But when it started to boil. . . . I heard the door open. It was crazy Ted, my identical twin. He insisted that we dress alike. I did what he told me because, even though I had developed some strategies, I remembered what he did to “insubordinates.” He had strangled…

We was a hole digging. Digging to time’s end. Digging down far. Digging. Digging. Digging. Digging ground-hog like. Digging fast. Digging slow. Tossing dirt. Tossing stones. Digging with hope. Digging like maniacs. Digging for what was below. We are a club—a tightly knit group of detectorists. We look for treasure left behind by Vikings, or…

“That’s one small step for man, one giant leap for mankind” I thought as I stepped over the hefty dog bomb on the park’s sidewalk. The quotation from Neal Armstrong didn’t quite fit, but I thought it was close enough to assuage my anger and disgust. The dog that dropped the bomb must’ve been the…

I wasn’t feeling well. It was like I’d fallen down a wishing well and crash-landed in one foot of water. I had been up all night trying to do my incomes taxes and submit them by today. It should’ve been so easy. I had purchased “Turbine Taxes” to do my taxes. On the site it…